he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
