i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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