don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize