i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
How external is "for external use only"?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
