Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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