fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
