he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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