yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
