oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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