she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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