Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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