Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
