I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
