You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
