Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
