You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize