dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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