well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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