I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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