Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
