He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
