i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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