Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
