I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
