Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Porn is love you can see.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Randomize
