no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
