Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
