She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize