Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
