jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
