What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Sext me about skeletons
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
