just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
