Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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