I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize