I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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