sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
