Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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