Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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