I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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