let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize