oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Im part way to drunk.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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