In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
