Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
