Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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