I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
