did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
