i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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