The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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