Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
