yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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