The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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