There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
